Hats Off For Grads!

Way, way, WAY off.

Seriously. I still don't see it.


Now, for the past few years this has been the gold standard for wrecked grad cap cakes:

And believe me, that is one tough standard to beat.


Still, this year's wreckerators are certainly giving it their "best" effort:

My. How...swirly.

This design brought to you by the bad guy in Fifth Element.

(10 geek points if you get that reference, and 25 if you know his name.)

And finally, my personal favorite: two cherries projectile vomiting on a picnic table:

I need an old cherry pitter, and a young cherry pitter.

A tip of the hat to wreckporters Angi C., Casey H., April P., Jennifer S., & Holly K., who find that the power of cake compels them. (Although that last one really is the pits.)

Aaaand...HEADDESK!

To learn the definition of the term "headdesk" you could look it up in the urban dictionary.

Or you could just look at these cakes.

Your spelling's not! Thanks!

(Bonus: Read that line out loud, and every preschooler within earshot will love you.)

STOP.
It's time to get the hammer.

Roo Hoo? Dangit, now I want a Yoo Hoo.
Do they even still make those?

Basketball fans, the ball's in your court.


So remember: it's "i" before "e" except when you're trying to draw a friggin' peace sign.

Which, incidentally, is supposed to look like this:

[repeated thudding sound]

[rubbing forehead] Thanks to Shawna K., Mary D., Caitlin I., Stacey S., & Angi A. for this awful headache.

Get Used to Disappointment

It's time once again to take all your lofty dreams of realized cake-ordering expectations... and douse them with the bitter dregs of cold, hard reality.

Oh, yeah. It's gonna be THAT good.

What they ordered:

What they got:

And here I thought all carrots grew under the ground.

Ordered:

Got:

A tip of the hat for an exceptionally crumby job.


Ordered:


Got:

Finally. A baby cake I wouldn't mind cutting.

Happy day at the pool:

Nightmare at La Brea Tar Pits:

Anyone else having flashbacks of Tasha Yar's death scene?

Thanks to Megan G., Candace R., Alisha T., Catie S., & Suzanne S., who all "exceed expectations." Mostly because my expectations are really, really low.

-----------------------------------

Happy Towel Day!

Hey, hoopy froods, it's Towel Day! This is the day when we celebrate hitchhiking the galaxy, Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters, and, of course, potted petunias.

I wonder if they'll be friends with me?

So, grab your towel...

Hey, even the terrible ones have fringe benefits.

...and sit back and relax while I serve up something that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike a teapot.

DON'T PANIC.

This hypnotized bunny rabbit is mostly harmless.

He may also be a teapot:

But that's pretty improbable.


Besides, it could always be worse.


Like so:

My, mister teapot, what an unfortunately colored spout you have.


Hey, here's a tip:




So, in conclusion:

42.


Oh, and:

"Want to see my spaceship?"

Thanks to Cassandra, Tracy B., Amanda Q., Leigh J., Kendra H., and Margaret C., my plastic pals who're fun to be with!

---------------------------------------------------

Picture This

Sometimes you want your cake to match your party invitations. Hey, no biggie, right? I mean, bakers do this all the time! So, just bring in the invite...

[Picture removed]

...and then watch the magic happen.

(Photo removed at the request of the baker. Please enjoy this lovely picture of Epcot)

Mmmm. Magic.

And you must admit: no body makes it better.


Or say you have a specific item you want replicated in cake.

You know, like a camcorder.

(Really?)

(Oh. Ok. Really.)

Well, no problem. They can do that, too!

That's one for the record books.

And with all the company picnics out there, you know bakers can freehand logos like nobody's business:

See? Just like nobody's business!

Or how about trying an entire building?

It's all in the airbrush.


Enough business, though. What do you say we loosen things up with something a little... sexy?

Mrow.

Uh...

Well, on the bright side, at least the baker was generous with the serving sizes!

Because anything less would have been a waist.

Thanks to Anony M., Hannah I., Emily C., Bridey, & another Anony. And hey, you know what they say! "A moment with these hips on your lips, and your hips...I mean, your LIPS...no. Wait. Look. There's an old saying in Tennessee. Or was it Taiwan? Anyway. Fool me once, shame on..uh...look, you can't get fooled again, is what I'm saying. Sooo. Yeah.

[dramatic eyebrow lift]

Strategery.

Off By a Hare

Ok, bunny cakes! This is your week to shine.

HIT IT!

Um...

Very attractive.

(Get it? 'Cuz it's shaped like a magnet? Eh? EH??)

But seriously, that's terrible.

Oh COME ON.



You're joking, right?

And this is just cheating.

Badly.

What the...?


A sunburned mouse? Really?


Look, maybe you should just go back to cheating.

'Cuz this is getting disturbing. [shudder]

Those eyes are staring into my soul.

Hold me.


C'mon, bakers, you can do better than this! Let's try for a big finish, eh? Ready? Aaaaand....

GO!

AAAAAAIIIIEEEE!!

Hey Krissy B., Kim V., Caroline C., Emily, Sarah E., Liz P., Reva P., Emily W., Mary, Danielle G., & Rachel C.: can any of you FIND meeeeee... some bunny to love?

Fooled You!

If you're still trying to find that pesky paperclip in the photocopier, odds are you've forgotten today is April Fools' Day. Yep, this patron holiday of practical jokers everywhere can sometimes get a bad rap, which is why we've decided to focus on the good gags: the cakes you'd never guess were cake.

BEHOLD!!!

Wow. Alfredo noodles and pink icing have never looked more pizza-like. NEVER.

Prepare to purse your lips...

...in amazement. Leggo my LEGO!

'Cuz that's what this is: LEGO. Not that I have to tell you that, of course. I mean, it's so obvious.

We should break out the champagne for this next one:

'Cuz that bottle of vino is smokin'! Kind of like a cigar would smoke. If it weren't actually a bottle of wine. Let's give a well-deserved tip of the hat to this groom's cake:

So realistic, it's like magic. Yessir, that cake is TOPS. Something something white rabbit.

(Did you get it yet? I'm running out of hints.)

And finally, there's a story that Giotto proved his skill to the Pope by painting a single perfect circle.

This is kind of like that. In a more base manner.

I'm sure Wreckporters Kimberly C., Sondra D., Fabiola G., Lu, Georgia F., Miles J., and Katherine L. would like to join me in saying: Happy Birthday, Ben! Because I never pass up an opportunity to tell the world that my big brother was born on April Fools' Day.