Hold me.
Tighter.
Thank goodness for that plastic plaque; at least something here is edible.So, what do you get for a #1 Dad?
I'll give you two guesses.Here's a hint:

Thanks to Nicole B., Travis P., Sherrill R., Angie L., Melissa S., & Michael M., who, despite the nightmares, still prefer sawing logs to...er...yeah, never mind. I totally just grossed myself out.