BREAKING NEWS

Michael Jackson is DEAD!!!!!

But he still somehow managed to release a new album this month called "Michael." Great. I'm a fully functioning human being that can't even remember to take out the trash, and this guy put out an album after being dead for a year and a half. (Does that make him a "working stiff"? Rim shot.) Anywhoozle, no better time than now to take a look back at some MJ classics.

This wreckorator was a smooth criminal to send this pretty young thing out the door:

Because "Triller" and "birthday night" go together like thumbless hand in glittery glove.

Remember the time...

...that Michael dressed up as Uncle Sam for the Thriller album cover? Neither do I. In fact I think the album originally looked something like this:

Note: I said, "something like this." Sans weird neck growth. On the bright side, they got the hand down the pants right. (Insert "Beat It" reference here.)

Ooooh, MJ cookie cakes. The way you make me feel is just....

...sad. And hungry. Mostly hungry. Kinda sad.

And this black and white cookie looks more like an ad for Soul Glo.

but it's nothing compared to this off the wall version of the King of Pop:

Yes, that's Michael Jackson, Armenian style. And it's bad. It's dangerous. It's dirty Diana.

Becca973, Mischa P., Jennifer D., Kimberly, Lila S., Felicity P., Shannon B., if you want to scream about all the MJ songs, you are not alone. But, I won't stop till I get enough. After all, it's human nature to like the man in the mirror... cause it's thriller... I like the Jackson 5. I'm out.