I'm Hunting Wreck-Its

Tracy in Washington wrote a while back to request Wrecks with, and I quote, "all manner of dead animals, people with shotguns or rifles, or dogs pointing at birds." Because apparently Fall is hunting season. And she seemed rather happy about it.

And, since I don't generally make it a practice to disappoint people with shotguns: Tracy, this one's for you.

- Shotgun shells?

Check.
- Edible photo of a deceased duck?
Check.
- For a groom's cake?
Check, please.

'Course, the dead duck in that picture IS a little subtle. I mean, he might just be sleeping. How are your guests supposed to know that the duck has, without question, joined the choir invisible?

Fortunately, there's always this option:

Now that's a dead duck.

Also, I've seen a lot of these cakes, and I have to ask: why shotgun shells and chocolate-coated strawberries? Why not shotgun shells and pineapple? Shotgun shells and kiwi? Or, heck, shotgun shells and sprinkles? I mean, so long as you have actual shotgun shells for the groomsmen to pluck off the cake and load their guns with, we're all good, right?

Aw, rats. These shells are edible:

If not recognizable.


Getting back to the deceased fowl, though, here we have a lovely SWEET MERCY WHAT IS HE DOING TO THAT TURKEY?!?

Not cool, man. Not cool.


'Course, when it comes to hunting cakes, most folks prefer a little more bang for their buck:

This is like one of those 20 questions games: there's a dead deer in the middle of a forest, with a Diving flag beside him. Now: How did he die?


Wow. I just realized: there's nothing like a dead deer cake to make you appreciate the ones without gunshot wounds:

Plus I kind of like this guy. He's all, "What? You want a piece of me? Huh, punk? YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?!?"

Or, for a more subtle touch, try just jamming a set of antlers in your cake:

I tried this once with a set of chicken wings. In related news: some people just have no sense of humor.

Well, Tracy, Elmer Fudd, and the rest of you, in conclusion:

May all your Tinsel-Horned Snorkacks* be the stuff of legends.

Thanks, Paula L., Cory & Haley, Ramona S., Hollye S., Carly, Sandy C., Heather F., & Kristen S. I hope these were worth the doe!


*Note from john: If you got this reference, I'm slow clapping in your general direction.

**Note from Jen: If you got the reference *and* understood that we purposely changed "crumple" to "tinsel," then I'm awarding you virtual gold stars.

And there is no hidden meaning to "slow clapping." Honest.